Thursday, April 1, 2010

I Hope It Will Be Worth What I Give Up

A friend of mine is moving this weekend. She is leaving Iowa for a bigger city and a new adventure. I've talked to her a lot about this decision over the past year or two because I clearly remember the first steps in my journey.

The sunny, September Saturday morning that I loaded all my stuff into the back of my dad's pickup truck is so clear it seems like yesterday. The Friday before was my last day of work which gave me almost no time to fully realize the impact of the decision to attend Emerson. Once everything was loaded, I hugged my mom and as we pulled out of the driveway, I had no idea I wouldn't be returning to Iowa in a little over a year.

It was dark and raining as we pulled off the Mass Turnpike and into Brighton two days later. I was about to see my new home for the next year. I started to feel a bit nervous as we turned onto Brock Street. I was moving in with two girls I had never met in a city I had never seen to go to a school I had never visited.

We pulled up to a dark house. It was Labor Day weekend and my new roommates were both off enjoying the last weekend of summer. I found the key Sarah had left for me and let myself in. The weather was humid and made unpacking my things miserable. Once we got everything inside and the bed set up, my dad left to go to his hotel for the night.

Exhausted, I climbed into bed. I laid there, listening to the rain, wondering what I had gotten myself into.

I would be starting school in just two days. It was an intensive one year program and I was worried about the program, making new friends, and learning my way around my new city.

The loneliness I felt in the first few weeks was great. This was magnified every time I talked to friends back home and they commented on how exciting they thought my life must be now that I was in Boston. This made me feel more frustrated that I wasn't feeling happier with my decision.

So I can completely relate to what this friend is going through at the moment. I haven't lied to her and said it's going to be easy. There will be moments of loneliness, of second guessing, of wanting to give up. But, I am confident she can do this, and, looking back on all of it from four years down the road, I can absolutely guarantee it will be worth it.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
~ Mark Twain

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