Emerging on the Lighter Side of Darkness

I'm happy.

Only two words, but it's sad that I realize how long it's been since I was really, truly happy and could make such a simple statement.

I'm saying this from a place where everything is different...on too many levels to even address tonight in this entry, really.

But everything is.

A lot of differences makes one happier me and I'll be back to write more soon, but for now, excuse me while I'm off to go remember this.

Announcing Visible Ink

As I put words to paper again, so to speak, I realize one of the reasons I felt uninspired by blogging for awhile was that I feel this blog is too focused for some of the things I feel compelled to write at times.

I don't want to ruin that so I'm choosing to launch another blog for stories that are inspired by other things - the past and present, some real and some imagined. I make no promises as to where it will go, I can only say it will be nothing less than interesting.

For those of you who wish to come along, story time is about to begin: http://amy-visibleink.blogspot.com/

3 Strikes You're Out...I Mean, Third Times a Charm?

Standing at the plate with a full count. Hoping to hit it out of the park, but I've only got one more strike.

That's the perfect analogy for how I feel right now. After two tries at making NYC the perfect situation for me, I'm staring down a third. This time everything's different.

Everything.

So all I can give it is one more shot. The pitch has been thrown and I'm taking a swing.

Let's hope it's a home run instead of an out.

When I abandoned this blog so long ago, I vowed not to return until I was beginning a new adventure and could start over with a new blog. But, because the past makes us who we are and because writing is like oxygen to me, I'm back.

I really wasn't fair when I said I was leaving until a new adventure came along because essentially every day in this city - or any other, really - is a new adventure. The time that has elapsed between my last entry and this one have been anything but adventure-less.

Stay tuned...

Signing off

I started this blog almost three years ago now. A lot has happened since then and I'm glad I have an archive of all that I've gone through living in the city. Looking back brings so many emotions. There have been some great moments and also moments of incredible loneliness. Moving to Manhattan has tested so many parts of me and I hope, along the way, I've gained more than I've lost.

I took a brief break from this blog a short while ago because I felt the words escaping me. The truth is, I don't want to write here anymore. I've always written this blog for myself and no one else and I don't feel that writing here is providing me anything more than unnecessary time spent dwelling on things lately.

So, when a new start comes, so will a new blog.

Until the next adventure....

Living in New York has never been easy and, honestly, I have never struggled as much as I have living here in the city. There hasn't been a week that's passed without a thought of wanting to give up, yet something keeps me here.

I don't know what or why.

I keep thinking that maybe all this needs to be perfect is a little bit more time and a little bit more patience. But maybe I just had to do this to realize that something else is better for me...

I'm not sure.

I don't know why I'm here or continue to be here.

I am afraid that when I go elsewhere I will miss this more than I think, but I am also afraid that if I stay here I will miss everything else because I'm too busy struggling to get by.

“Success is sweet and sweeter if long delayed and gotten through many struggles and defeats.” - Amos Bronson Alcott

Full Circle

Last night I met up with a friend whom I met while working at a publishing house in London. As her boyfriend introduced me to a friend of his he made the comment that I was the only one who stayed in publishing. I almost interjected, but as I thought about his statement, I realized that was the way it looked even though it was far from the truth.

In undergrad I had at one time considered a career in publishing. I applied to many positions at a local magazine publisher and to be honest, it was what drew me toward my job in London. But after returning Stateside and seeing how much the industry was changing I decided to change my plan as well.

I did a little marketing for a computer engineering firm and, after grad school, I fell into an account executive role in Boston working for Tech and health care clients. Which eventually led to my web content management experience and further fueled my interest in technology and the digital space. I truly enjoyed all of these roles and had never once looked back at publishing. But somehow, recently after interviewing for a more digitally focused position, I found myself in the custom content division of a large publishing house here in the city.

So, in a way, he was right. It was out of that idea and the decisions that I made following London which have somehow led me full circle without me ever consciously making the choice to.