For the first time in my life I'm homesick. Weird, because I've often been away from home and have never been bothered by it before.
I went off to summer camp when I was younger all the time and even lived in a foreign country for 6 months and never felt homesick during any of these experiences. Sure, I missed people but I guess those were situations where there was some type of term limit on the time I would be away from home.
Maybe the reason I'm feeling this so acutely at present, is that I'm starting to realize the permanence of my life here - and not just meaning in New York City, but the fact that I may never even live in the same time zone as home again and I never get to visit as much as I wish.
Lately random excerpts from my past flash back on a daily basis and as I realize they come from all the places I've called home in the past, I'm wondering if these feelings of "homesickness" aren't so much about the place itself, but maybe more about things I'm lacking here.
"Fifty percent of the people in the world are homesick all the time. You don't really long for another country. You long for something in yourself that you don't have, or haven't been able to find.” -Anonymous
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
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